10 March 2008

Kendal Winter League moves into Yorkshire

John Hodgson reports

Na then, fer t`races this week we `ad t` go in`t Yorkshire t`other side o` Ingleton at Austwick; way up in t` hills, t`wer on t` single track rooards. Parking t` car twer reet awkward wit ditches on t`either side. Fair enough fer t` Settle lads as the` cud lay in t` bed fer ar bit longer.
Ah must `a missed fust race cos when `a got thier lads an` lasses were just abaat finished in t`U14`s race. That grand lass Robin, th`t cums fra` Carr Bank did a reet good job finishing fust wit Jane giving it some welly up t` last hill int` real clarty conditions.
Next up t`wer U17`s wit`Till lads an` Cathy; drugged up t`eyeballs ont` Ibuprofen. Alex wer` reet jiggered after t`race an`didn`t do `imself justice on t` day. Says he`s training six times a week! He`d normally whip `em on `t this sort of course. Sam is a young whippersnapper in t`this age group an` `appen will do better wi` a bit o` hos-muck in his boots. Cathy finishished behind Mel, in`t one piece, much t` delight of mum.
In t` Seniors, tha` reet lanky lad `ad `is Ambleside vest on fer t`fust time,so t` scabby donkey `l get na mention agin fra me. Dennis wi` his yella appendages ran a good race wi`t`owd Gill fella an t`missis doin` t` best fer t` club.
Whilst on a Yorkshire dialect note , `ave yer `eard this `un?

Mate in Canal.

Auld fella walking alongside canal and sees a nine-year old lad fair crying his eyes out.
`Wot`s tha cryin` fer, young un?`
Through sniffles and bawling little lad manages to say `A`ve loss me mate.Me mate fell in t`canal` and point about tree feet in front of him.
`By `eck`, says fella and without further ado strips off his jacket and shoes then jumps into the canal. After ten minutes he splashed to side and says `Ow old was tha` mate?`
By this time, lad has stopped howling and watched the auld fella fair dumbstruck.
`Wots tha mean, ow old?`
`Thy mate,`says fella,`ow old were `e.Wor` e a big lad?`
Little lad scowled at the old man, `Nah! Tha daft bat. Not me mate....me mate outa me saniche!`